Quotes by Famous People : Woody Allen

If you are looking for famous quotes from films and movies by Woody Allen, this page is helps you. Some of these quotes by Woody Allen will be familiar and some even deemed to be legendary or notorious Woody Allen quotes! The famous quotes by Woody Allen listed here include examples of funny, motivational, inspirational, sad or even love quotes.

Famous Quotes from films and movies by Woody Allen

List of Famous Quotes from films and movies by Woody Allen

  1. How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?

  2. As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

  3. Eighty percent of success is showing up.

  4. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

  5. How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

  6. I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

  7. If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

  8. I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

  9. His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

  10. More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

  11. Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

  12. Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

  13. Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

  14. Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

  15. What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

  16. Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

  17. Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

  18. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

  19. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

  20. The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.

  21. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

  22. What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

  23. To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

  24. Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

  25. Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.